The work aims to determine the values of the relevant physical performance parameters of the wet barrel finishing abrasive in contact process. Based on EDEM discrete element simulation, Hertz-Mindlin with JKR contact model was selected from the system, and the angle of rest was used as the evaluation index to calibrate the optimal combination of parameters in the discrete element simulation of wet barrel finishing abrasive. Firstly, three parameters (rolling friction coefficient, collision recovery coefficient and surface energy of JKR between the wet barrel finishing abrasives) were selected by Plackett-Burman test. Then the optimal range of the significant parameters was determined by the steepest climbing test. Finally, the response surface method, Box-Behnken test was used to analyze the variance of the quadratic polynomial of regression model with angle of the rest and relative error and three significant parameters and to find the optimal combination of parameters. The optimal combination of parameters was obtained: rolling friction coefficient of 0.0597, collision recovery coefficient of 0.7444 and JKR surface energy of 0.1 J/m2. The simulation analysis was performed by the optimal parameter combination. The average repose angle was 27.17°, and the relative error between the repose angle and the experiment was 0.6%. It is feasible to use this method to calibrate the discrete physical parameters of wet barrel finishing abrasive. It can not only provide a basis for parameter determination of the simulation, but also provide reference for parameter mensuration of other irregular shape granules.